Ok, so what gift are you giving to yourself this year?  A diamond necklace, a new coat, or a sundrenched holiday?  Me?  Another ‘To Do’ list.  Yep, that’s it.  More stuff to do.  That’s what I’ve given myself because as you know, there’s a lot to accomplish within the first 3 weeks of December:  shopping, decorating, getting a tree, more shopping, baking, planning dinner menus, hosting/attending parties, more shopping, wrapping, and then of course last minute shopping for those little things you forgot.

I know for myself, I want to get those items off my “to do” list – guess I should start shopping sometime soon – but there always seems to be competing priorities: work, kids’ concerts, driving and picking up teens and emotional breakdowns by other members of the family.

So as I was sharing my stress with my coach, she said ‘look at your breathing’ – as soon as she said that I stopped breathing and shifted my eyes around to “look at my breathing.” (Sorry, bit of a digression there).  Anyway, what she was pointing out was that I was shallow breathing, only from the top of my lungs which stimulates a sympathetic response (I know you know that).  This shallow breathing was putting my body into a fight or flight response.  Helpful for running from the lions – yes, but given that I’m human the elevated sympathetic response is wrecking havoc with my body – and it is with yours’ too, cause I know you shallow breath too!

Here’s what my coach suggested I do for myself and I invite you to do for yourself:

1. Find some compassion. Imagine that.  Instead of screaming “my ‘to do’  list is overwhelming,” stop and take 3 full belly breath (longer exhalation than inhalation) and then refocus on the priority in the moment.  Amazing what a little deep breathing can do.

2.  Not everything has to be perfect – make it a priority to be present and engaged with people rather than worrying your mashed potatoes aren’t fluffy enough (You’re probably the only person who cares).

3. Focus on what’s going well rather than where the problems are.  Just that little shift is sometimes enough to nudge our energy into a more positive form.  If you can’t think of anything going well, stop and write out 10 small things you are grateful for.

Give the Gift of ‘Calm’ to Yourself.  You’re worth it!