Contact Me

This Month's Article ~

"People are like stained glass windows:
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty
is revealed only if there is light within."
~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Speaking of the Olympics and Wins...

by Barb Langlois

I learned something the other day. I learned that I'm not very good at celebrating my wins in life, but I'm pretty good at remembering my losses. Are you the same way?

I’m currently involved in a virtual "Bookinar" (love that word) where the author of a book discusses his book, over a 4 week course. We have a live Q & A session and then receive the assignments we have to complete.

One assignment we have is to make a life graph showing our peaks and valleys. Being a good student I went about the assignment and found I remembered my peaks: graduation, travel, marriage, births, divorce (yes, you read that right), easily. After I had pencilled in those dates, I asked myself, "What else?" Nothing came. I started giving myself trouble: "Haven't you done anything with your life? Have you not been successful anywhere? That's pathetic!" Of course, making myself feel bad, didn't help the situation at all. I started to think about other people's wins and I could easily name 10 wins for all my friends. Me, none. Now you might be thinking "Barb, you have wins" (at least that's what I'm hoping your thinking and if you're not, don't tell me) but nothing came to mind.

I wish I could tell you that all of a sudden all my winning memories came flooding into my mind, but that didn't happen. The void stayed empty even though my definition of a win was, well "anything." Each time I thought I came up with a win, I easily convinced myself it wasn't really a "win," anyone could've done that.

Now maybe I'm unique but I don't think so. I was talking to a friend in San Francisco, telling her about my woes and she said she can't really remember any of her "wins" either. All the accomplishments she's had, she's quickly dismissed too. So, there are at least 2 of us who do this. Are there more out there? I think so.

Anyway after a couple of days of staring at my paper, a few wins started to come to mind. I classified moving to Texas to nurse as a win, being selected to speak at a conference as another one, and contacting an expert and asking if I could meet with him as another. Even though I've classified these as wins, as I re-read this article, I can feel myself easily dismissing them as "nothing."

Back at my Bookinar, I learned that if we don't "anchor" our wins when they occur, we will have great difficulty recalling them. What that means is that when something good happens (and it doesn't have to be a gold medal, it can be something like finding $10 in your pocket that you didn't know was there), you acknowledge the win with something like a "high 5" (if someone else is there), or pumping your fist and saying "yes" (if you don’t have an audience or maybe even if you do have an audience). Anchoring a win is acknowledging your win in that moment by doing something (anything) physical and verbal. This allows you to anchor the win into your body.

You might be wondering, "Why do I want to remember my wins?" Well . . .

It makes you feel good
It boosts your confidence and self esteem
When you're having a hard time, it's great to remember the 'wins' in your life
It gives you leverage for more success
It's acknowledging to your spirit
It changes your state of mind when you are facing intimidation
It's fun
It creates more wins and . . .
if you ever have to do an assignment like I'm doing, it's a lot easier.

Personally, I think acknowledging our wins in life is vital to our health and well-being. So often as women, we brush off our wins as "it was nothing," "no big deal," or "I just got lucky." Our wins are something, they are a big deal and you didn’t get lucky.

How many wins can you come up with, in your life . . . in the past 10 years, 1 year, 3 months? Don't listen to your little voice that’s probably telling you right now "what a waste of time." It's not. It's YOU and Your Wins we’re talking about. Go ahead, write down at least 15 of your WINS! You're worth it.

Helping You Step Out of the Ordinary!

Barb's Signature