Hi Everyone!

Just a reminder of my FREE 1.5 hour workshops called "Me First, Guilt Free: Tools and Techniques to Care for Yourself" occurring in January 2010. No gimmicks or hidden agendas, just a FREE workshop. This is a genuine workshop packed full of useful tools and techniques that I want to share. It is my gift to you.

One workshop will be in Chilliwack and one workshop will be in Vancouver. The workshops will be in January 2010, from 1900-2030 on one evening during the week.

Everyone is invited. Bring your friends, family, neighbours, anyone who you think would like to have fun and learn at the same time, for FREE.

I am currently finalizing the location/dates and will have them posted as soon as I have them confirmed. For those of you who have contacted me regarding your interest, I will send you an email with the information.

If you interested in attending this Free, Fun workshop, please email me and write either "Chilliwack" or "Vancouver" in the subject line. This will help me track the number of people attending.

Please accept my gift to you!

Helping You Step Out
of the Ordinary!

Barb Langlois

Contact Me

Article ~

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,
is giving up on being perfect
and beginning the work of becoming yourself."
~ Anna Quindlen

Prescription for Perfection

by Barb Langlois

Are you, what people call, a perfectionist? I am. This is not something I’m proud of. I have to admit, it sometimes gets in my way and causes me to get really hung up on rather minor issues. If you’re a perfectionist, what does it cause you to do? Well, my need to get everything right or should I say “perfect”, just served me up a big, fat, juicy lesson. Perfectionists read on. Non-perfectionists, you already know this. Read on if you want to sit back and think “I’m so glad that’s not an issue for me!”

I am certified in a leadership workshop that I provide for health professionals several times a year. The workshop is the creation of organizational guru Barry Oshry and is a fairly structured workshop. It involves a fun simulation with lots of learning and Barry requests the workshop be delivered in a specific way. I have spent lots of time learning Barry’s system and honour his request for the process. A few months ago, nearing the end of this 2 day workshop, we were all standing in a circle. I had asked the participants to give their final thoughts. It was Friday afternoon about 1615 hours. It was the second last person’s time to speak. She kind of shifted her stance and then said and I’ll quote her since it’s ingrained in my mind, “This workshop was a total waste of time!” Huh???

My heart sank. Then she said “nothing personal, Barb.” In the strongest voice I could muster, I said “it’s your experience. I’m not taking it personally.” My little voice popped up in my head and screamed “LIAR!!”

What does your little voice say to you?

If that wasn’t bad enough, the final participant then piped up and said “I agree. It was a total waste of time. I didn’t get anything from it.” With the most confidence I could find, I said “it’s not right or wrong. It’s what your experience was” and with that everyone left. Talk about sucking the life energy out of the room. Not the way, I want to leave people on a Friday afternoon. Now you might be thinking, well what about the other 20 people, what did they say? Well, they said something positive, but my mind, likely just like your mind, gets hung up on negative comments.

I was crushed! I wanted everything to be PERFECT! How often do you want something to go perfectly?

The experience really wrapped itself around me. I couldn’t shake it. I finally called my coach. She asked what happened and I said “I practiced everything. I wanted it to be perfect. I did everything the process called for and I’ve never received those kinds of comments before. They said ‘nothing personal’ but how can I not take it personally? I’m responsible for the workshop!”

Here’s what she said that I found so useful, “No-one is perfect (I already knew that but seem to keep trying). Because you expect to run a perfect workshop, you will automatically attract people to the workshop who will point out to you, in their own way, how imperfect it is.” Really?? She continued, “When you are trying to be perfect, you are up in your head trying to remember what comes next and therefore not connecting to your audience. People will react to that. In order for people to learn, you need to connect to them – they don’t care if you’re perfect – they just want you to be you.” Imagine that, I need a coach to tell me to be me!

I took those comments to heart and have worked hard to be in the moment, to just be me and let the process take care of itself. I have to tell you, “It’s hard!”

I ran the workshop again last week. I was scared, no that’s another lie. I was petrified! I didn’t prepare like I usually do. In fact, I hardly reviewed at all, I just said to myself “I know this stuff and I don’t have to be perfect.” My little inner voice screamed “LIAR, LIAR!!” I pulled away from the rigidness of trying to do everything the way Barry suggested and instead did it the way I thought the participants would benefit the most – but still with integrity to Barry’s content.

Result = phenomenal! I connected with the participants and they in turn really tuned into the learning. I couldn’t have asked for a better response but was it perfect? Absolutely not and that was hard for me, but I managed to let it go. I have lots of room for improvement in this area but really connecting with people (and I mean really connecting) was an unbelievable experience. I have to admit, when it was time for the final checkout, my heart started to really pound. Even though I knew the workshop went well, my inner voice was still yakking at me that people would respond angrily in the final check out. Proud to say, my inner voice was WRONG once again! Am I the only one with this inner voice issue?

I don’t have to be perfect and neither do you. All anyone ever asks of us, is that we be ourselves. It sounds so simple. Who else would I be? Who else would you be? In certain situations we may each try to be someone we’re not. Trust me, it doesn’t work. People will see right through you.

My Prescription for Perfection – “Just be YOU – You’re better at it than anyone else!” Now that’s perfection!

Helping You Step Out of the Ordinary!

Barb's Signature